Executive Level Fuckery: Justine Sacco

Bandwagons and soapboxes are currently operating at maximum capacity as pseudo-activists (aka lesbian hippies who ONLY use Cherokee hair tampons) collectively lose their SHIT on Twatter over some dumb bitch’s tweet (shown above). If you were unaware of this fuckery before reading this shit, I do apologize most profusely (read: I’m not apologizing at all). I am, however, going to need everyone to stow it and calm their worked-up asses the fuck down and this is why:

First of all, this bitch was probably just making a funny. A joke in poor taste (aren’t those the best anyway?)? Perhaps, but still a joke nonetheless. All of you self righteous tricks can’t tell me you’ve never made a fat American, short-dicked Asian or sheep shagging Australian joke. If you can say you’ve never done this, well then fuck, aren’t you just the life of the fucking party! The fact that this “joke”, however, was made at the expense of poor, defenseless, starving and broke-as-fuck Africa seem to make it unacceptable – BITCH PLEASE. Sit your ass down.

Second of all, maybe this wasn’t a joke. Maybe Ms Sacco, like myself, is partial to a bit of African Rock Python and given the high HIV infection rate in sub-Saharan Africa – in addition to the fact that she likes to ride side-saddle (bareback anal) because she’s saving her clam burger for that special someone – she might just be legitimately concerned about her health.

Finally, I’m going to need everyone to calm the fuck down, because the real issue here – irrespective of whether she was kidding or expressing legitimate concern – is how this dumbass got a job in PR. P fucking R?? How the fuck are you going to work in PR and tweet bullshit like that?! I have degrees coming out my butthole and the good sense to make my internet trash anonymous, but I can’t find a job with proper medical aid to save my life! That’s some old bullshit!

Great, now I’m pissed off at that ho! I’m going to tweet some hate at her RIGHT NOW!

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