Daily Skid Marks


Lest we forget, our national police service being about as transparent and ethical as a Somalian War Lord. – via Mail & Guardian

The Crips and the Bloods ain’t got SHIT on what’s about to go down in Cape Town now that Mad Dog Staggie is out on day parole. – via News24

Can someone please tell Cosatu to just SHUTTHEFUCKUP? – via Time Live

The holiest of holy: Pillsbury Malema (aka black jesus) bites the hand that used to force-feed him and shits where he used to life. Has his knowledge and wisdom no end?! – via Times Live

Half of the Waterkloof Four back in the clink. – via News24

Parliamentary level fuckery continues as the 2014 national election draws closer. – via Times Live

Thirsty bitches try to use funds allocated for disaster relief to line their own pockets. Wait till black jesus finds out about this! SMITE SMITE SMITE! – via Times Live

Looks like the tricks at the Departments of Science and Technology and Trade Industry have taken a page out of Obama’s book. “South Africa’s access to and control over its own satellites will ensure advanced surveillance and reconnaissance capabilities“. Mother fuckers! – via 2Oceansvibe

Jeannie D adds her midriff to her arsenal of Europe-terrorizing instruments. – via Instagram

ALERT THE AUTHORITIES: The entire country is smoking massive amounts of tik. Or at least that is the only explanation I can think of for the Prez’s approval ratings rising. – via News24

Ex-senior editor of the national news fuckery ANN7, Rajesh Sundaram, is taking a page from black jesus’s book and plans on biting the hand that fed him for “a dreadful three months“. – via 2Oceansvibe

Washington DC gets served 3 meter high Mandela REALNESS. – via ZAGossip




Daily Skid Marks


Auditions (read: psychiatric screening) for the new Big Brother SA is currently under way. – via ZAGossip

Idols SA’s top guys announced.  So what about the bottom guys?! – via ZAGossip

Vote for Danny K’s BROWN EYE. You have my vote Danny! – via Twatter

“A billion Rand? Meh.”: Patrice Motsepe. – via Sowetan Live

The infighting can officially resume: Parliament announces new SABC board. – via Times Live

Jeannie D is done terrorizing Rome with her razor blade clavicles, now she is doing impersonations of a smug Calliphora Vomitoria across Athens. – via Twatter

Toronto Film Festival: SA not in the news for kiddy-porn or wife-murder for a change. – via SA Breaking News

The CSIR did science things and now errbody loves them.  Meanwhile, I’m still waiting for someone to invent “I can’t believe it’s not bigger” enlargement cream. – via Mail & Guardian

Communism has been the ultra #fail in other countries, but is will definitely work in South Africa. – via Mail & Guardian

Ermahgerd! Let’s take couple-selfie! Ermahgerd, ERMAHGERD! – via Serwehtern Lehrv

You can’t argue with this logic: You give me poor costumer service, I shoot you and break your shit. – via Mail & Guardian

To the South African tax payer: Roses are red, Violets are blue; When you weren’t looking, the Department of Public Works went ahead and fisted you. – via Times Live

E-tolls: Beating a dead horse (read: FUCKING a dead horse with a bag full of 18″ dildos – too much? I think NOT). – via Channel24