Dear Justine Sacco: I Take Back Everything I Said

I take everything I said, about Justine Sacco, in my previous post back. This is the first and last time I will retract a piece as I have a very serious not-a-single-fuck-is-given policy. Based on this policy I stand steadfast next to every single nugget of filth I fling at your computer screen. However, after I saw the post on buzzfeed about Ms Sacco’s general Twatter activity, I have decided that this situation requires a retraction and sincere apology.

The tweets highlighted by the buzzfeed post clearly indicated that Sacco is about as sane as Amanda Bynes after a bong hit. 5150 a bitch STAT! Can you imagine the sheer fear her co-passengers must have experienced on the flight back to London if they knew of this fuckery?? The atmosphere must have been palpable. If you think I am exaggerating, just go read some of the gems buzzfeed was able to salvage from the now deleted Twatter account.  My favourites are:

As I sit and eat a bagel with lox, i would like to send love to my jews who are all starving themselves right now. #hungryhungryhebrews

— Justine Sacco (@JustineSacco) October 8, 2011

“Weird German Dude: You’re in first class. It’s 2014. Get some deodorant.” -Inner monologue as I inhale BO. Thank god for pharmaceuticals.

— Justine Sacco (@JustineSacco) December 20, 2013

So since mental illness is a serious matter, I would like to apologise on behalf of all South African to Justine Sacco. You are forgiven as you knew not what you were doing (see what I did there with the Jesus reference, heh heh?). That said, to whoever gives Ms Sacco the help she so clearly needs, I would like to ask that you “remove the cause, but not the symptom” because this shit is GOLD!

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