Happy 100th To Us!

100

Today Siesa Nyama is celebrating the 100th time we’ve been able to smear the filth that is South African news -well, our version of it anyway – across your phones, tablets and computer screens. Yes people, we’ve made it to 100 posts without being deactivated, sued or jailed. SCORE! For this reason, but mostly because we’re all drunk already and unable to come up with anything new, here is a recap of some of the highlights (or low lights, depending on your stance) so far. See how many of them you can remember!

100 recap

 

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Belated Knopkierie: David Pocock

Boofhead

Fine, whatever, it’s not Saturday I know, but I couldn’t let this one slide…for obvious reasons.  This week’s (last week’s) Knopkierie is Good-Guy-Rugby-Player-From-Down-Under David Pocock. I could write a whole article about that surname, but I shan’t because he deserves better.  He does not, however, deserve better than juvenile cracks about his unfortunate family name because he is pretty much the embodiment of the expression “Greek God”, but rather because he is a) surprisingly not as thick as a box of jockstraps as his physical appearance would suggest, because b) he loves the gays as much as the gays love him (well, maybe not as much; I highly doubt he jerks it to a life-sized poster of Elton John and his life partner) and c) he does his bit by helping out the poor aids waifs of Zim.  You might be wondering why an Australian rugby player qualifies as a eligible candidate for Knopkierie.  Well, all this segment really is, is me showing the world what I have in my spank bank, but let me try to legitimize this decision like a professional (you: HAHAHAHAHA).

There are various reasons why I despise Robert Mugabe. His poor dress-sense being one of the top reasons and being instrumental in David Pocock becoming an Aussie is another. We all know that Bob gave Zimbabwe a good old fisting as far as agriculture and the economy is concerned, which led to the Pocock family leaving Zim and moving to Oz when David was 14.  This then resulted in a direct loss for South African rugby (and thirsty bitches nation wide) because if he stayed in Zim he OBVIOUSLY would have come to Mzansi to pursue his rugby career as we all know that Zim was never that big on the rugga. FUCKING MUGABE! Luckily, judging from his twatter, it would seem that he has not forgotten about us. Here are some images to ensure that you also do not forget about him:

Pocock face Pocock panties Wallabies Captain's Run And Press Conference Pocock 4 Pocock 5 Pocock panties 2

 

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Gays are evil – so says Robert Mugabe

bob

So for those of you who didn’t know; Zimbabwe’s president, Robert Mugabe, is continuing his campaign to win the highly coveted Biggest Douche in the Universe award.  According to City Press, in a recent address at a rally in Bulawayo, Bob had the following to say:

“. . . then we have a respectable man, an Archbishop. Tutu should just step down, because he supports gays, something that is evil. We say no to gays…”

Bob had this to say about Archbishop Desmond Tutu’s stance against homophobia. Bob being a hateful prick and hating on a beloved South African public figure aside, I simply CAN’T with that outfit he is wearing! One thing is certain, this bitch definitely does NOT have a gay working his wardrobe out…and it shows.  It’s a pity Zimbabwe’s First Lady of Tyranny, Gucci Grace, isn’t doing her wifely duty by bringing Bob back some swag from her travels.  That mess hanging off him looks like it was thrown together from the second-hand shit Pep Stores imports in bales from Eastern, and that hat! That fucking HAT!

No tea no shade Bob, but if you want to talk shit about the gays then a) you need to have your outfit IN CHECK and b) you best make sure you wipe the residual jizz from the corners of your mouth after sucking your own dick. Homophobic slurs really don’t hold any credibility with a face full of spunk.  Also, someone needs to talk to him about the Hitler situation on his upper lip. It is quite obvious that Bob draws significant political inspiration from Das Führer, but his PR ho needs to get fired for failing to ensure that shit doesn’t get photographed.

The diseased, prolapse asshole of the African continent concluded his mouth-queefing session by saying that “…victory is ours…”.  I’m sorry, but the only victory to be had here is by the shady bitch who sold you that mess on your body, Bob! He saw your blind ass coming a mile away and is still laughing all the way to the bank.

 

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