Miss Earth: When Archaic Social Practices And Current Issues Collide

Miss Earth

What in the entire fuck is the International Miss Earth competition you ask? Well, when I find out I will let you know. From the gloriously embellished and not brown-nosey at all article on ZA Gossip, I think it has got something to do with a bunch of hoes in skimpy 100% recycled frocks, putting their pussies on display in aid of Mother Earth…or some shit like that.

I have to apologize for the shitty photo quality of South Africa’s representative,¬†Ashanti Mbanga, at this fair trade organic shit show. Looks like this mess which has reportedly “gained unprecedented traction over the years” didn’t have a big enough budget in it’s South African chapter to afford more than a Sony Ericsson K500 for the official photo shoot. Pity though, given than the South African Peacock population was driven to near extinction in order to make that fever dream on acid MESS she’s wearing!

Why are beauty pageants even still a thing?? This shit was started in an era when walking on the street with your baby-feeders could land a ho in jail. However, the hard work done by pioneers such as Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Miley Cyrus have paved the way for women everywhere to show their hush and honkers to anyone who wants to see (note: I am NOT one of those people). Even dressing this shit up as an environmental protection campaign does not take away from the fact that a bunch of bitches who didn’t make the cut for Miss World is now getting a second chance to flash their freshly waxed pussies (with bio-degradable wax strips if you please) for the cameras.

I can smell the bullshit bitches! And I don’t mean the environmentally friendly compost the competition is sponsored by…