The Prez Drags Our Lord And Saviour Into The MESS That Is South African Politics

Remember when I told you a while ago to brace yourselves for the fuckery the 2014 general election was going to bring? Well shit just got real! The Mail & Guardian reports that Jacob Zuma has gone from enabling the crucifixion of our justice system (shown above by Zapiro), to apparently dragging our Lord Jesus crucified and holy into his MESS.

If this blog seems to be written by an incoherent drunk, it is because the M&G article is full of so much fucking bullshit presented as if it is nothing out of the ordinary, that my head is spinning…or maybe it’s from those horse tranquilizers I just snorted in celebration of 100 posts…nope, it’s from this bullshit.  First of all, those shameless whores at M&G mangled and butchered The Prez’s original quote about “running the government forever” into a title which is much more eye-catching, i.e., double-fisting the word Jesus into it. Then, there is this sentence in this complete attention-whore of an article:

Repeated corruption scandals, increasing crime levels, poverty, high unemployment levels and internal bickering are hurting the ANC’s popularity.

Hurting? HURTING?! The level of fuckery bitches in the ANC have shown to be capable of, should have done nothing less than destroy the party completely. The NERVE to then go “door to door” on an election campaign! This motherfucker should all enter RuPauls’ Drag Race, because he clearly all posses charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent (as is required for entry):

C  harisma – Getting dumb hoes to listen to them even though everything falling out of their talking holes are filthy, STD-ridden LIES!

U  niqueness – Show me other “democratic” politicians who OPENLY practice polygamy, have been TO COURT for rape, has OPENLY admitted to gay bashing and who has been REPEATEDLY been accused of some kind of corruption.

N  erve – The NERVE to show your fucking face in public and ask for votes after all your messes.

T   alent – Incomparable talent for lying, stealing, cheating, beating, etc.

Yes, The Prez sure has the C-U-N-T he needs to get re-elected! Finally, this MESS of an article mentions that NUMSA has announced that it will not be backing the ANC in the coming elections. Dafuq? I don’t know too much about politics (or anything for that matter), but where do unions fit in? Aren’t unions supposed to be concerned with representing workers? Why would a trade union feel the need to openly back a political party…or announce that the won’t, in this case? SO MANY QUESTIONS! SO LITTLE ANSWERS!

So between the blatant whorring on M&G’s part, The Prez’s C-U-N-T and this NUMSA business I feel like I need a lie down…next to a bucket!

 

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Daily Skid Marks

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Pierre Spies brings about political and social change in Zimbabwe with rugby – which is the ONLY WAY to bring about change. – via Twatter

Thor had a hand in this: All the more reason to visit the Drakensberg. – via Times Live

NUMSA shows all you haters that a trade union is in fact capable of logical thought. – via Fin24

Once again, undeniable proof that no link exists between level of education and people’s tendency to behave like deranged savages.  No link whatsoever. – via News24

When toddlers get offed in Diepsloot, the only rational thing to do is to  break shit down and harass the only people who can legally do something about the situation (DUH). Also, throwing stones at journalists reporting on the tragedy brings about justice (OBVEE. – via Mail & Guardian

Looks like it’s “Stomach In, Chest Out Stomach In, Ingquza Out” in in Mpumalanga. – via Times Live

Joke’s on you Huisgenoot! Someone in market research must have been fasting too long, because demintia must be setting in if they think has got any Muslim readers. – via Twatter

Fuck our lives! Nonhle Thema and Khanyi Mbau has been spared for another year. Is there no end to this torture?? – via Twatter

Oh jesus, oh jesus fucking christ. Can someone please confiscate Steve’s iPhone? I don’t think I can take any more of this misinformed pseudo-intellectual fuckery. – via Twatter

 

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Daily Skid Marks

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Emo Adams makes thirsty bitches lose all ability to use human language. – via Twitter

How the FUCK is a drunk government official able to dodge police for two hours?? Regardless of how, this shit happened *files under fuckery*. – via Times Live

Haji Mohamed Dawjee throws piping hot shade at the Prez. – via Mail & Guardian

Jay du Plessis celebrates his birthday and Steve Hofmeyr does what he does best…digging in some random “koek”. – via Twitter

The UK cancels SA’s visa-free status and the ANC is working on a cunning plan to ‘get back at them’. Give me fucking strength. – via Times Live

Saying that South African union members need discipline is like saying I need a broad spectrum antibiotic every Monday morning, but Numsa’s general secretary disagrees. – via Times Live

South Africans fail yet another test… this time a test for happiness. Even fucking Kosovo and the Ukraine are happier than us! – via 2Oceansvibe

There is the strong stench of human excrement in the general Sandton area as Traders at the JSE collectively evacuated their bowels at the thought of all kinds of dumb whores now being able to trade shares. – via SA Breaking News

SA Ambassador to the UK, Dr Barend Delport’s, impressive collection of kiddy pussy pics make everyone proud. – via 2Oceansvibe

If Veet SA is unveiling their new spokesperson, WHERE is Dr Ream-me Short?? – via Twitter

Everyone at the Toronto Film Festival lost their shit over the film adaptation of Nelson Mandela’s Long Walk to Freedom. – via Mail & Guardian

The most overrated, underwhelming, overpriced and generally shitty expo will hit Johannesburg again from 26 – 29 September. – via Sexpo

And finally, Juanita du Plessis still hasn’t learned her lesson. – via Twitter

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