Daily Skid Marks

Omo4

Bobbie van Jaarsveld announces his decision to renew his beard’s contract after annual review. – via Twatter

In news of the double-‘meh’: ZA-Rwanda relations might experience strain after the assassination of former Spy Chief Patrick Karegeya. Bitch please! Meh1 = What South African actually even knows where Rwanda is? Meh2 = Who is Rwanda kidding by trying to convince the world they have spies. – via News24

Bitches are still bitching about the 2013 Matric exam results and I CAN’T. – via 2Oceansvibe

One hot air filled asshole calling another hot air filled asshole on the hot air in his asshole: The Mthethwa-Cele Saga. – via Times Live

E-toll…bile…bile…e-toll…bile…bile…#OVERIT. – via SA Breaking News

Nominate your top young South African for 2014! Register your nominations at the Mail & Guardian. My nominations are as follows:

– Nonhle Thema, in the category Most Inspiring Tweets

– Bobbie van Jaarsveld, in the category Most Exquisite Highlights on a “Straight” Man

– Ramey Short aka Ream-Me Short aka Dr McSmoothy, in the category Silkiest Pre-Cock

– All the 2013 Matrics, in the category Putting Up With The Entire Country’s Negative-As-Fuck Bullshit

Minister Angie Motshekga’s wig, in the category Serving Anne Hathaway Circa 2012 REALNESS

 

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Finally, Some Real Insight Into Poor Exam Results

ANGIE

The only thing that happens to me when I think about South African politics, is that it makes me consider taking up religion again. I imagine only some form of higher power has the capacity to fix the executive level fuckery the Prez and his band of fucktards has wet-queefed all over the nation. At first glance I thought Basic Education Minister, Angie Motshekga, felt the same…but no. Brace yourself, this amount of weapons grade stupidity is not for the faint at heart.

I thought I’ve heard it all when bitches started promoting “pray the gay away” retreats for their cock-hungry sons and poon-starved daughters…once again, no.  City Press reports that Holy Mother Angie Motshekga has asked Mpumalanga residents to pray for their children writing matric exams to be delivered from evil spirits.  A bit of an odd statement, considering she looks like a concept sketch for The Gogo of Chucky.

That’s right parents.  Fuck striking teachers! Fuck poorly managed government funding!!  Fuck teachers who can’t even pass the national exam of the subject they teach!!!  Fuck all of this, because we now know the real reason all provincial matric pass rates, apart from that of the Western Cape, need as much work as there is needed on Angie Motshekga’s face! Demons! Wyk Satan!! Suka Tokoloshe!!!

Also, Ms Motshekga would be well advised to spend some time engaged in early detection rather than fraternise with the likes of Micah ­Nthali from the Moral-regeneration movement (what the entire FUCK is a “moral-regeneration movement”??).  I know some people get wet in their sex-bits at the sight of a beauty spot, but that shit hanging off her forehead is about as beautiful as a shit-covered prolapse hanging out of a hairy butthole.  GURL, you know you are getting photographed, FIX YOUR SHIT!

 

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