Tumi Lesejan turns Randall Abrahams’s ice-sickle-dick into a warm fleshy boner. – via ZAGossip
And so the vultures start to circle. Have you no fucking shame ya thirsty whores?! – via IOL
The radio hostess with the most-ess wants all of you to spill the tea. For those of you who don’t speak drag, he wants you to #RevealASecret. – via Twitter
Kendrick Lamar’s tour of South Africa has been postponed. In related news: who the fuck is Kendrick Lamar? – via Zalebs
Someone get on the phone to Ripley’s Believe it or Not! A school in rural KZN DOESN’T have a 0% pass-rate! – via Mail & Guardian
popcock: South African artist, Steve Cohen, shows the French the true meaning of ART. – via ZAGossip
Jub Jub shows South Africa that his douchery knows NO limits: Claims he’s contracted TB due to poor care. – via Huisgenoot
Roxy Louw will star in a local production of Disney’s Teen Bitch Movie. – via ZAGossip
The Debora Patta of pop culture once again serves some unsuspecting hoes the read of their lives! – via 2Oceansvibe
#LOL: Bitches are still pissed off about the whole Guptagate “scandal”. – via News24
Stop being such greedy fucking whores! So says Anton Roelofse. – via Fin24
Hardly anything trash-talk worthy happened in Mzansi today, so imagine my delight when I stumbled upon this little scrap of beautiful fuckery in the pile of off-cuts from Cher’s newest and “newsiest” wig (aka IOL). Apparently one of the Gupta’s 2 500 domestic servants was the mastermind behind a recent “robbery” that took place at their home in Johannesburg on Wednesday. I use the term “robbery” loosely since the estimated value of goods allegedly stolen from the Gupta home was a mere R1million. BITCH SAY WHAT?? If the robbers weren’t being such slobs and left the place in a state, then these rich hoes wouldn’t even have known they lost a rock!
But WAIT! The plot thickens! I just saw on eNCA that the Guptas have issued an official statement denying that said robbery took place. The fuck? The pigs are insisting that a robbery did take place at the Gupta residence in Houghton and that it is being investigated, but the Guptas said that they can “categorically state that none of their properties were robbed“. Categorically hey? Well shit. Then the cops MUST be mistaken. If you ask me, this is just a classic case of cops fucking up paperwork. I don’t think there is something dodgy going on here at all. I don’t think the Guptas are involved in anything that isn’t completely above board. Did the italics sufficiently convey my sarcasm? Keep on watching this space for more related fuckery…I don’t think we’ve heard the last of this mess.