One can always expect of IOL to deliver the back end of the trashiest news available in Sub-Saharan Africa. Today is no exception. IOL reports that Competition Commissioner, Shan Ramburuth, has been forced to resign after it was found that he used his work SIM card to look at fuck-bits costing the Competition Commission R120 000 in international roaming charges. I would like to take this opportunity to kindly request everyone to calm their self-righteous asses the fuck down. Calm? OK.
A couple of things are important to note here. If web-design and fried chicken expenses at provincial level reach amounts that defies the sheer fabric of reality, then I can say with almost complete certainty that if Mr Ramburuth was racking up a 120K bill for looking at videos of GloZell playing real-life Hungry-Hungry-Hippo, no one would have had a single fuck to give about it. But because he did what every normal man (or woman) does when in a hotel room after a day of working out of town – bust a nut – he is being made out to be the scum of the earth and unfit for his job. Give me a fucking break.
Secondly, even though I think the Ministry of Whatthefuckever which the Competition Commission reports to need to get the fuck down from their high horse, I still think he should have been fired. However, the reason should not be for “improper use of company resources”, but rather for “being a dumb fuck”. Let’s cut the shit and just admit that ALL of us have looked at a butthole or pussy-lip on a work device, on work bandwidth or in work time. The difference is, anybody with half a braincell would know to either keep that shit to an undetectable minimum, to erase your history or to do whatever needs to be done so you don’t get your thirsty ass caught! Hopefully the acting commissioner will be less of a fucktard.
So apparently South Africa is the hot new place to find Youtubers? (Yes, that question mark is supposed to be there, because W the F!?) I’m sorry, but as an avid watcher of the yootoobs, can I add that until we can produce twink-a-licious goodness like that of Jack and Finn, ratchet bitches like Kingsley or ladeez of quite the questionable sanity as Glozell, we still have a long way to go to reach the top of anyone’s list in the online videoing game. If you want to see two chicks (who look like they’ve spent the night being molested at a Long Street backpackers whilst smoking everything they could buy on the street on the way there) hoofing it around Cape Town with Daddy’s old Hyundai TV set, while simultaneously and shamelessly plugging one chick’s brother’s Youtube channel (…and breathe), then press play on this mess. If you don’t like seeing how rapidly your finger will find the BACK button, then rather watch this, which comes to you with the full SIESA guarantee of not being a pile of local horse shit: