Daily Skid Marks

Omo4

Call PETA! Call Greenpeace!! Call the UN!!! After traumatizing all of Europe Jeannie D has set her sights on the poor defenseless animals of Botswana. – via Twatter

@jennifer_su doing what she does best. #Siphoning #the #fame #from #Blist #celebrities #while #posing #for #twitpics. – via Twatter

As usual, COSATU came up with a revolutionary and awe inspiring idea: Let’s all fuck up traffic in protest against people fucking up traffic. BRILLZ! – via News24

The IEC is actively trying to increase the amount of fucks the country’s youth give about voting. In case you were wondering, the number of current fucks given is not very high. – via Eyewitness News

BREAKING NEWS: The weather in Wales is shit. So shit, that the Millennium Stadium’s roof needs to be closed. How will we cope? – via News24 (Seriously News24? Seriously?!)

The answer to your question is yes. Yes we are very jealous Heat Magazine SA! #lustblackout. – via Heat Magazine SA

The reincarnation of Annie Lennox makes me want to stab myself in the eye with a tampon applicator. – via Twatter

Thanks for the update Rob! Good thing you told us about the shit service at a government department, otherwise we wouldn’t have known. Phew! – via Twatter

So apparently Mother Earth is being made into the environmental equivalent of a bukkake cumslut…and that is bad. – via Mail & Guardian

Oopsie. Looks like Ashanti Mbanga wont be getting to flash her organic 100% recyclable pussy to the Miss Earth International judges in the Philippines after all… :(. – via Times Live

 

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Daily Skid Marks

Omo4

Lest we forget, our national police service being about as transparent and ethical as a Somalian War Lord. – via Mail & Guardian

The Crips and the Bloods ain’t got SHIT on what’s about to go down in Cape Town now that Mad Dog Staggie is out on day parole. – via News24

Can someone please tell Cosatu to just SHUTTHEFUCKUP? – via Time Live

The holiest of holy: Pillsbury Malema (aka black jesus) bites the hand that used to force-feed him and shits where he used to life. Has his knowledge and wisdom no end?! – via Times Live

Half of the Waterkloof Four back in the clink. – via News24

Parliamentary level fuckery continues as the 2014 national election draws closer. – via Times Live

Thirsty bitches try to use funds allocated for disaster relief to line their own pockets. Wait till black jesus finds out about this! SMITE SMITE SMITE! – via Times Live

Looks like the tricks at the Departments of Science and Technology and Trade Industry have taken a page out of Obama’s book. “South Africa’s access to and control over its own satellites will ensure advanced surveillance and reconnaissance capabilities“. Mother fuckers! – via 2Oceansvibe

Jeannie D adds her midriff to her arsenal of Europe-terrorizing instruments. – via Instagram

ALERT THE AUTHORITIES: The entire country is smoking massive amounts of tik. Or at least that is the only explanation I can think of for the Prez’s approval ratings rising. – via News24

Ex-senior editor of the national news fuckery ANN7, Rajesh Sundaram, is taking a page from black jesus’s book and plans on biting the hand that fed him for “a dreadful three months“. – via 2Oceansvibe

Washington DC gets served 3 meter high Mandela REALNESS. – via ZAGossip

 

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Daily Skid Marks

Omo

Vavi apologizes for calling his ladyboy hooker a girl (nopatazana). – via Mail & Guardian

First South African to ride in the Tour de France decides to quit that shit before the jig is up! – via News24

I can honestly say I would rather be violently raped with a rusty spoon than attend a Kunt Darren concern. However, if you disagree, here are some deets. – via Twitter

Pierre Spies is amazed by a photo of himself. Welcome to our world Pierre! – via Twitter

Morris the Tokoloshe getting into the festive season. – via Twitter

SANZAR CEO, Greg Peters, comments on that cunt Romain Poite being a meanie to our Bissie. – via Soundcloud

Bissie’s record has been cleansed of that vile Romain Poite’s shitty reffing. – via Times Live

Auditions for Sharknado: South Africa now open! – via ZAGossip

File under “news of the painfully obvious”: The Prez is delusional an uninformed. – via 2Oceansvibe

Election 2014 Manifesto: “The manifesto forums seek to provide an opportunity for the ANC to interact with our people on progress made and challenges confronted in creating a South Africa that is better today than it was in 1994 make false promises in a desperate attempt to win votes despite appalling governance”. – via Times Live

Ian Bredenkamp knows where its at! – via Twitter

Gareth Cliff needs to work on his sales pitch. – via Twitter

SABC editor, Montlenyane Diphoko, shows all South Africans that you can do any-FUCKING-thing you want, as long as you have a good enough lawyer. Keep up the good work Monty! – via Sowetan Live

The Hawks being a division of the SA Police Service is not stupid and is not a recipe for political interference you dummies: Kemp. – via Time Live

DA – 1, ANC – 0 (IOL – 0 for double negative): Cape Town least unequal SA city. – via IOL

Some trick with dainty-ass hooves finally won the #ElanaShoes! – via Twitter

 

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