As usual, COSATU came up with a revolutionary and awe inspiring idea: Let’s all fuck up traffic in protest against people fucking up traffic. BRILLZ! – via News24
The IEC is actively trying to increase the amount of fucks the country’s youth give about voting. In case you were wondering, the number of current fucks given is not very high. – via Eyewitness News
BREAKING NEWS: The weather in Wales is shit. So shit, that the Millennium Stadium’s roof needs to be closed. How will we cope? – via News24 (Seriously News24? Seriously?!)
The answer to your question is yes. Yes we are very jealous Heat Magazine SA! #lustblackout. – via Heat Magazine SA
The reincarnation of Annie Lennox makes me want to stab myself in the eye with a tampon applicator. – via Twatter
Thanks for the update Rob! Good thing you told us about the shit service at a government department, otherwise we wouldn’t have known. Phew! – via Twatter
So apparently Mother Earth is being made into the environmental equivalent of a bukkake cumslut…and that is bad. – via Mail & Guardian
What in the entire fuck is the International Miss Earth competition you ask? Well, when I find out I will let you know. From the gloriously embellished and not brown-nosey at all article on ZA Gossip, I think it has got something to do with a bunch of hoes in skimpy 100% recycled frocks, putting their pussies on display in aid of Mother Earth…or some shit like that.
I have to apologize for the shitty photo quality of South Africa’s representative, Ashanti Mbanga, at this fair trade organic shit show. Looks like this mess which has reportedly “gained unprecedented traction over the years” didn’t have a big enough budget in it’s South African chapter to afford more than a Sony Ericsson K500 for the official photo shoot. Pity though, given than the South African Peacock population was driven to near extinction in order to make that fever dream on acid MESS she’s wearing!
Why are beauty pageants even still a thing?? This shit was started in an era when walking on the street with your baby-feeders could land a ho in jail. However, the hard work done by pioneers such as Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Miley Cyrus have paved the way for women everywhere to show their hush and honkers to anyone who wants to see (note: I am NOT one of those people). Even dressing this shit up as an environmental protection campaign does not take away from the fact that a bunch of bitches who didn’t make the cut for Miss World is now getting a second chance to flash their freshly waxed pussies (with bio-degradable wax strips if you please) for the cameras.
I can smell the bullshit bitches! And I don’t mean the environmentally friendly compost the competition is sponsored by…