Today We Remember: Steve Hofmeyr

Steve 1

Oh Steve. What HAPPENED to you? One of my earliest memories of Steve is of him on stage at some day-time music festival where he asked the crowd: “Wie se ouers wou nie hê hul moes kom nie want Steve Hofmeyr is ‘n moffie?! (Who’s parents didn’t want them to come because Steve Hofmeyr is a fag?!)”.  The worst part about this is not that he actually said this on stage, but that it was true.  Saying what came to mind, playing the bad guy on screen and making “alternative” music, Steve was the symbol of sticking it to the man, which obviously led to conservatives like my parents calling him all kinds of names such as “fag” (which was mainly because of his long hair).

Please do not misinterpret the inclusion of Steve into the Siesa Hall of Remembrance as evidence of my desire to at some point yearn for him to play me like a Spanish guitar. No. HELL to the no! I simply find it fitting to pay my respects to the person and symbol he used to be in our country. The utter irony of him literally becoming the closed-minded conservative old cunt he used to be the antithesis of is too much for my tik-stunned brain to handle. I am still somewhat convinced I hallucinated the most of the Red October bullshit from last week where he attempted to turn legitimate tragedies such as recent farm murders into fuel for a right-wing racist agenda. Jesus. DAFUQ dude?!

Steve 2

You know what? I think everything started going wrong when he married that trick from Egoli.  He was a free peen that should not have been tamed.  See what happens when you try to tame wild peen? It starts fucking everything that walks and instead of fucking YOUR brains our, he starts fucking his OWN brains out.  With every extra-marital affair and with every illegitimate child he loses part of his sanity until we have the MESS we see today.

Let the life of Steve be a cautionary tale to all you hoes out there. DON’T try to keep a peen tied down. The consequences could be dire!

 

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