What The Entire Fuck: Red OctoberPosted: October 11, 2013
Yes I haven’t written anything in weeks, but in my defence I have to say that this was due to medical reasons. The medical reasons being that I finally mustered up the courage to watch my pirate copy of Man of Steel, 5 minutes into which I suffered an acute lust blackout when my eyes experienced the glory that is Henry Cavill’s 100% A-grade beef tits wrapped in a luxurious layer of man-fur. Luckily my house-mate knows the drill by now and quickly administered a shot of adrenalin directly into my heart. Coming to you would think that I would avoid any further visuals of aforementioned man-tits, but no. I then finished the entire movie and subsequently slipped into a lust coma. I was rushed to the ICU and put on an Energade drip to replenish the fluids and electrolytes I was haemorrhaging from my pussy-area. I regained consciousness yesterday only to realise that white bitches in South Africa have finally lost their GODDAMN MINDS.
Initially when I heard of the MESS called Red October I immediately assumed that it has got something to do with lady parts spitting out liver bits – come on… Red? October?? As usual, the gutter-dwelling cluster of filth I call my mind was wrong because according to News24 Red October is an initiative by crazy white bitches, under patronage of White Julius Malema – Steve Hofmeyr – to raise awareness about the fact that crazy white bitches are being targeted in violent crimes. Here are some priceless titbits from the News24 article:
Protesters in Pretoria marched to the Union Buildings where they handed over a memorandum demanding an end to what they call a white genocide in South Africa.
Speaking at the Pretoria protest, activist, actor and singer Steve Hofmeyr told the crowd: “They say we’re wrong because everybody is dying. Everybody is a victim. They’re wrong!”
“World Mental Health day, and #RedOctober supporters are calling anyone who doesn’t support their racist cause “libtards”. Keep it classy, SA,” tweeted @DiscordianKitty.
Felicia Mabuza Suttle give me strength! What a good idea. Let’s all march up to the Union Building and hand over a memorandum because we all know that always works. Always. Whenever the trade at Saunaboyz is shit I always march up to the Union Building and hand over a memorandum demanding tighter and fresher sphincter majora. Always! In addition, if the past has taught us anything it is that falling behind a social cause Steve Hofmeyr supports is a very very very good idea. Also, I think I’m going to need that drip again because the sheer irony in that last quote is just too much for me to handle. I just CANT!