Boer Billionaires!

Boere

Good GOD! If ever a headline made my b-hole pucker uncontrollably, this is it! Make sure you get the latest issue of FinWeek, get their names and #GetPaidHunty! FinWeek did all the leg work and now all we have to do is to a) either make these J. Howard Marshall lookin’ bitches leave their wives for us, or b) find their sons and threaten to leak the dick pics he sent you (they’ve always sent dick pics to someone). GET DEM COOOOOOINS!  Also, this kind of reminds me of that tragedy of a TV show called “Boer Soek ‘n Vrou“.  This roughly translates to “Farmer Seeks a Wife” and is basically Afrikaans South Africa’s answer to The Bachelor.  I’ve only watched about one 10th of the part they show before the intro rolls, so I don’t know much about that shit show, but what I do know is that I’ve VIVIDLY fantasized about some spin-off shows.  I will let the gutter water in your brains to the work in lieu of a description…

– Boer soek ‘n ou (Farmer seeks a guy)

– Boer soek ‘n hoer (Farmer seeks a whore)

– Boer soek dit NOU (Farmer wants it NOW)

– Boer soek ‘n knou (Farmer seeks punishment)

– Boer is ‘n vrou (Farmer is a woman)

I would obviously like to be a contestant on all of these spin-offs… *sploosh*

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