Jub Jub Is Coughing Up Lies, Not Blood!Posted: September 13, 2013
In his latest role, Jub Jub is portraying the character of a terminally ill, misunderstood, poorly-treated-yet-still-productive member of South Africa’s musical elite. I’m not trying to be bitchy (read: I don’t have to try, hoes!), I’m just saying that for someone who is normally serving tight-as-fuck DAYTIME REALNESS this bitch is looking pretty fucking haggard of late. This is not the look! Skin which used to be as smooth and creamy as a chocolate Sterie Stumpie now looks like it’s being doused twice daily with neat Jeyes Fluid! Eyes that used to croon “gurl, I’m gonna be in you..” are now feebly moaning, “gurl, is that weave washable, cos BAAARF!” And the hair. That FUCKING hair!!!
News24 reports that in his third appeal for bail, with the assistance of Evil Incarnate, H. E. LLB: Rudi Krause, Jub Jub is claiming that he has contracted the fastest way to lose blood weight in prison outside getting shanked: TB, and needs to get out of the clink to get special medical care in a facility where someone WON’T try piss in his IV bag. Correctional services, however, is saying that Jubz and Rudi are filling the State’s ears with LIES and that after some tests Joobie and his crisp white hankie (no stains!) have been given a “clean bill of health“. Hmmm, I wonder where I’ve seen this fuckery before? … Oh yes, Didn’t that slippery motherfucker Schabir Shaik pull this SAME stunt when he needed to get his Get Out Of Jail Free Platinum Card courtesy of the parliament? Didn’t he get paroled because he was “terminally ill” only to be seen later playing a nice round of golf, and not even on the complimentary golf course attached to the luxury hospital he was “bed-ridden” in?
Even if his lawyer, Rudi Krause LLB MBChB, wasn’t pulling this TB crap out of his fart-hole, this still should not contribute to an argument for Joobie’s release on bail. Why? I’ll tell you why. If he really did have TB I’m convinced he would have gotten it from both he and Themba Tshabalala making the evening hours fly past with liberal use of the only supply of lube to be found inside those four thick, thick prison walls: other inmate’s phlegm. Well, at least it’s water-based! This dickwart is that shameless.