Lady Gaga + Mother Teresa = Mrs Elana Afrika-BredenkampPosted: September 9, 2013
So usually, South African celebrities are about as exciting as an afternoon at the dentist. There are, however, a select few individuals at whom I simply cannot throw any shade (read: A SELECT FEW). One such individual, who always makes us gag on the sheer breadth of her ELEGANZA, is Miss Elana Afrika-Bredenkamp. She is an accomplished radio presenter, but is undeniably not a face for radio. Bitch turns it OUT whenever she’s on TV or sashaying down the red carpet. Gurl is the poster-ho for “Sell the garment darling!” However, this time she is not selling anything! Not a Hyundai, not Vital supplements, not even a Big Issue. This time she is giving shit away for free! Gratis! MAHALA!
Earlier today she posted on her Facebook page that she will be giving away the shoes, pictured above, she wore once to a launch of some sort. From what I understand you can tweet her ass at @ElanaAfrika, using the hashtag #ElanaShoes, and tell her why your trick ass should own dem shoes. Mother Teresa ain’t got SHIT on Mrs Afrika-Bredenkamp, all she ever gave out for free was Rosary beads and Catholic guilt!
Unfortunately my good-for-nothing parents didn’t practice the art of Chinese foot-binding at the opportune time, so my supersize man hooves would hardly fit into a size 5 dainty shoe. However, if you think you’ll be able to fit your nasty-ass claws into these, then get on your twatter and tweet a bitch ASAP! One note to Elana though: If you are going to refer to your shoes as “Lady Gaga numbers” then you need to make sure all spikes on said numbers are at least 3 to 4 times longer than the ones you have on these. Gaga won’t give ANY Applause to these tiny-ass gold-plated zits!