A trip down Memory Lane (read: are we there yet?)

A friend sent me this. I really don’t know why. Consider yourself downgraded to friend of friends, bitch! Maybe since I saw her last she has gotten into old Afrikaans tannies. Maybe she needed to share her pain with someone after seeing this mess herself. Maybe she wants to know what I’d look like with tampons jammed in my ears, because I had a heavy flow day after clicking play on this mess. Either way, I’m setting her homepage to meatspin (NSFW) next time I’m at her house.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not hating on the Afrikaans divas from the 80′s. In fact, as a gay toddler growing up in middle class South Africa, I basically worshiped Carike Keuzenkamp. Unfortunately, that chubby, faggy little version of myself couldn’t know or even conceive of the raw and awe inspiring talent that is mama Mara, or SHE would have been my idol, and this blog would have been wall to wall HER.

Seriously though, all I can add to this depressing-as-hell shit is NO BITCH to Sonja. NO BITCH while Tutu’s twatter is getting cut off. NO BITCH while Madiba is making more trips to the hospital than me to the STD clinic after a gaye ol’ weekend at The Pressure Cooker, and a resounding NO BITCH when, in less than a month, Bonnie Tyler is planning on making every South African within earshot of her concert go full Ingrid Jonker into the ocean off Three Anchor Bay. The Prez should take some tips from UK Prime Minister David Cameron and block block BLOCK this shit for the sake of the people!

And to answer your question, NO BITCH. Sonja, I’m not missing you. I’m not missing your Namakwaland-farm-girl-who-pole-vaulted-over-puberty vocals and I’m most certainly not missing that discount-Durban-poison-trip mess of an album cover. NO BITCH.




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